SlashNOT

Matthew writes: AOL has finally figured out how to charge for e-mail: Forget about charging the 5% of legitimate senders and make the spammers pay to reach their customers directly.

So they plan to block access to their 40 million subscribers to anyone who sends bulk mail (or whose mail server has been exploited by someone who does) unless the bulk mailer pays a per-message fee. Other free e-mail providers are expected to follow suit as soon as they determine how few of the remaining idiots on AOL actually flee because of the new guaranteed spam delivery service.

Matthew writes: Emissaries of the enigmatic planet-sized-and-shaped-object-orbiting-the-sun UB313 have again demanded planetary status now that its size has been measured and confirmed to be larger than Pluto.

“We demand our right to be included amongst the planetary powers of the Solar system. For too long have we languished undiscovered, and then relegated to mere “Kupier Belt Object” status. No longer. If Pluto is considered a planet, then we demand to be considered a planet as well. UB313 has declared that if it does not receive planetary status, it will re-start UB313nium enrichment.

Matthew writes: To celebrate the sending of the last telegram ever on January 26th, 2006 (145 years after Samuel Morse sent the first one) we thought we’d use the SlashNOT transchronizer to celebrate the death of various other technologies.

• 2008 Last UPC code scanned
• 2009 Last NTSC television signal transmitted
• 2010 Last tape backup completes
• 2011 Last free e-mail message sent
• 2015 Last unchipped baby born
• 2019 Last dial-tone line decommissioned
• 2030 Last router on the IP based Internet shut down
• 2030 Last road-legal manually driven car produced