SlashNOT

Matthew writes: While browsing a news site online, I clicked a link to a company that markets replicas of an early automatic watch. What ensued was my first conversation with an Artificial Stupidity engine that went so far as to claim to be real, and then abruptly ended the chat when I challenged it. The conversation is transcripted below in its entirety, clever misspelling included.

(Click [Continued...] for the full chat transcript) Read the rest of this entry »

Dave writes: You may publish this article anywhere you wish, as long as the whole article is included and it is not

edited.

You know computers have taken over your life when…

You hum the Windows opening theme when ever you wake up

You think the numbers on tombstones are high scores

You use Google to search for your car keys

You actually hand in work from EssayGenerator.com

You keep getting fired as you beat up you boss thinking that you’ll get to the next level

You keep a trash can and a selection of neatly arranged folders on your desk top

You excuse yourself to go to the toilet by anouncing that you have to “download”

You try to shut windows by tapping them on the top right corner

You refer to meals as “power ups”

You call christmas a “bonus round”

Matthew writes: The sale of a 10 year old grilled cheese sandwich that the owner claims shows the image of the Virgin Mary was abruptly pulled from the auction site, but then allowed to return after the owner clarified that the image was actually that of the inventor of spread spectrum frequency hopping used in modern cellphones Heddy Lamar.

“Ebay’s anti-fraud policies prevent outrageous claims and the sale of items that would perpetrate fraud. Our experts determined conclusively that the simulacra in question was an image of Heddy Lamar, not the Virgin Mary. Once the owner corrected the sale, we allowed it to continue.”

Matthew writes: Hoping to capitalize on the sudden massive popularity of Texas Hold ‘Em, Intel has developed and released a new low cost chipset and signed new channel distribution partners to push it into the retail markets.

Retailing for $ 129.99, the chipset consists of 500 individual 11.5 gram (casino weight) chips in various denominations. “We were beat to the 64-bit x86 market by AMD, and we’re a little late to this market, but we’re betting that our superior chipmaking technology, market penetration, and industry weight will put us on top. We’re are deeply committed to all chipmaking vertical markets, and we’re going all-in here.

Matthew writes: With the MPAA’s recent spate of suits against movie pirates, the pirates have banded together to fight back.

“Avast, We’ll not be taking orders from the likes of them” said Captain Hook, of the 2003 film “Peter Pan”.

“Aye, they’ll taste the edge o’ me broadsword before the mast.” Added captain Jack Sparrow, of the 2003 film Pirates of the Caribbean. “They’ll dance the plank or dangle off the yardarms before I lay down me piratical ways.”

“Agreed, my good man.” Said Captain Bligh of the 1936 film “Mutiny on the Bounty”. “While I’m not a Pirate as such, I am a member of the Film Captain’s Guild, and I’m afright that if left unchecked these suits will eventually encompass all the able men of the seven seas.”

“Totally.” Agreed Captain Bill Gates, of the 1999 made for TV movie “Pirates of Silicon Valley”. “We’ve got the men and resources to stop this barbaric intrusion into our historic rights of piracy and monopoly.”

showardkid writes: In a surprise move by spammers worldwide, solicitors of such products as Cialis and representatives from companies such as “Free porn, inc.” have banded together to sue Internet Service such as Earthlink, America Online, and Yahoo! inc.

“We’ve had enough of this,” said a representative from enlarge-it.com. “Our legitimate industry of selling this junk is going down the toilet. How hard is it for a user to simply click the ‘delete’ button and remove the offer that we’ve sent them?”

Lawyers of the Pro-SPAM coalition say that they plan to file a lawsuit and prosecute the companies “to the fullest, hardest, and longest extent of the law.”