National Asperger’s Institute diagnoses rest of humanity
Posted by Matthew on Wednesday May 17, 2006 @04:25PM
from the monkey-see-monkey-don't dept.
Matthew writes: The National Asperger’s Institute has released clinical diagnostic criteria for nuerotypical (normal) humans, placing the list of symptoms under the umbrella spectrum disorder “Pooflinger’s Syndrome.” Dr. Sarl Cagan explains the reason and meaning of the diagnosis.
“Recent research suggests that neurotypical individuals are, in fact, capable of relatively high functioning language abilities. This discovery, along with the fact that they exhibit at least some facility with computers, indicates that a clinical diagnosis can be helpful in getting these individuals the help that they so desperately need.”
Symptoms of Pooflinger’s Syndrome include:
- Sensitivity to nonverbal social cues such as facial expressions and body language
- Self-subordination into primate hierarchical groups.
- Late or incompletely developed mathematical development.
- Inability to develop even the simplest lexical parser.
- Inability to comprehend the preceding symptom.
- Inability to create satire.
- Inability to discern why anyone would write an article on Wikipedia.
Subject:A Close Shave (no relation)
Having only now heard of Pooflinger's Syndrome, I became worried that I might be suffering from it, as I have only contributed a very small amount to Wikipedia.
Luckily, I do have entries on the On-Line Encyclopedia of Integer Sequences (see http://www.research.att.com/~njas/sequences/A090338), so I believe I have avoided the ignominy of such a life-demeaning affliction.
I guess that Pooflinger's Syndrome has only been identified in these last few days, as Wikipedia has no article on it yet. Maybe Matthew will be kind enough to add one.
Comment by Lau — May 25, 2006 @ 8:25 am
Subject:Comprehend satire?
I wonder if someone afflicted with this syndrome also has difficulty comprehending satire (not just creating it)? Just this morning I was explaining the details of the first lexer I ever wrote, when the poor woman started making some weird insinuations about Asperger's being problematic.
When I jested, “right, because YOU are the healthy one,” she just gave me a self-satisfied nod and then began talking about shoes.
In any event, I think she is doomed to remain a pooflinger for the rest of her life. It's a shame, really.
Comment by Unlabeled — May 26, 2006 @ 6:54 pm
Subject:Re: A Close Shave (no relation)
Yeah, I've been autodiagnosing myself with great facility lately, having deermined that I suffer from ADHD, Sensory Integration Dysfunction, Hemiplegic Migrainse, Hypogonadism, seasonal affective disorder, Asperger's Syndrome, hypoglycemia, irritable bowel syndrome, and hypochondria.
Google+Wikipedia=Crazy Delicious!
Comment by Matthew — May 26, 2006 @ 9:24 pm
Subject:Re: Comprehend satire?
Yeah, hotties either have pooflingers or they ape it.
Comment by Matthew — May 26, 2006 @ 9:28 pm