SlashNOT

matthew writes: Zheng Cui, M.D., Ph.D., the director of research at Wake Forest University, has relinquished his position over his distress at the discovery of a mouse with natural resistance to even the most virulent forms of Cancer.

“You have to understand. I’ve spent forty years—four decades—studying cancer. I know even the most esoteric details about the propagation of cancer and the defensive mechanisms that the body normally supports. I’ve created and tested hundreds of theories and hypotheses and performed hundreds of thousands of experiments in search of a mechanism to defeat this most vicious of human diseases.”

“And then this damned mouse mutates, and voila! All my work is for naught. I could simply have been a rat breeder and made this discovery. Furthermore, because he’s a lab mouse, he’s a near exact clone of his parents, so isolating the genes that confer this protection against cancer were obvious.”

“So, my work is done. Stupid mouse.”