SlashNOT

Matthew writes: IBM, developers of Artificial Stupidity (AS), have announced that they’re teaming up with Amazon.com, developers of Artificial Artificial Intelligence (AAI), to develop Artificial Artificial Stupidity (AAS).

“Our customers in the Artificial Stupidity market have been impressed by our ability to bring Interactive Voice Response (IVR) systems to market that imitate human operators by pretending to be stupid and by utilizing both poor grammar and poor human interaction skills.”

“But there are still many things that humans do worse than computers. We’ve partnered with Amazon.com’s mechanical turk technology called ‘Artificial Artificial Intelligence’, whereby humans can become part of software applications by spinning function calls off to websites where people answer questions about data.”

“This gives us the ability to reference datasets created by actual idiots if a customer senses that they’re speaking to an AS IVR. For example,when a customer calls into Verizon’s V-Cast service and asks ‘Which ringtone should I download, ‘Lady Lumps’ by the Black Eyed Peas, or ‘Laffy Taffy’ by D4L featuring Busta Rhymes’, an AS IVR will simply make a random choice and respond. But actual idiots all know that ‘Lady Lumps’ is more polyphonic in the critical 2 to 4 thousand kilocycle audio range most accurately reproduced by the external speaker on most contemporary cellular handsets. By incorporating Artificial Artificial Stupidity into our Artificial Stupidity based Interactive Voice Response Systems, we can build systems that capitalize on even the most meaningless information.”