I actually subscribe to the similar but more grunge influenced version of hell described by Nirvana (which, oddly enough, has nothing to do with nirvana). (I know, it's a meat puppets cover, but meat puppets isn't a metaphysical reference. Exactly the opposite, actually)

The basic Mormon dogma is that everyone ends up in the place populated by people of their same level of moral integrity. Hell is where Satan lives, so you'd have to be someone Satan would invite over for a beer. I guess publishing satire isn't what gets you on the Lord of Darkness' BBQ list.

Figures, the Telestial Kingdom is low rent. The Celestial Kingdomw is where it's happening, baby.

So what do you have to do to end up in hell? You know, the Squirrel Nut Zippers' version.

Yes, I know that the Mormon church outlawed polygamy in 1896, and that parodying religion is evil. But Mormon's don't riot in the street or kill people, so I figure it's okay. At least, it's not going to keep me out of the Telestial Kingdom.