SlashNOT

Matthew writes: U.S. President George Bush today declared a “War on Weather” to combat the “rising tide of rising tides” and “stop the forces of weather extremism where they start”.

“Mother nature has a responsibility to bring her concerns before the world body of the UN, rather than plaguing mankind with extreme weather. We will not be cowed by these acts of eco-terrorism. We will not lower our green-house gas emissions, or even admit that human activity affects weather.”

The president announced a new series of low-pressure-busting bombs to be dropped in the centers of hurricanes in order to disrupt their formation, and announced that Venezuela and Cuba have been identified as “centers of hurricane formation”. He has tasked the Department of Defense with drawing up invasion plans to enact regime change in those countries.