Emissary demands planetary status
Posted by Matthew on Sunday July 31, 2005 @01:05PM
from the Finally-freaking-found-the-10th-planet-already dept.
Matthew writes: Emissaries from 2003UB313, the planet-sized rocky body orbiting the Sun beyond the orbit of Pluto, have formally demanded planetary status.
Fulgak, 5th most dignified of the Ulkuk Hegemony, traveled to earth via a mysterious space ray from the newly discovered planet mere days after the announced discovery of the planet on Thursday.
“We have monitored your planet’s radio frequency transmissions since they began emitting approximately one quarter orbit ago. When we learned that you had detected us, I was dispatched by their most dignified of the Ulkuk Hegemony to present you with our list of demands.
First, we demand to be considered a Planet, and that said planet be named Ulkuk.
Second, we demand 50% of your planet’s current production of Peanut Butter, and you will never inquire as to the reason for this request.
Third, we demand that you immediately begin production of new Baywatch episodes staring Pamela Anderson. We will provide technology to assist your already noble efforts to prevent her from aging.
“You have two Earth revolutions to comply.”
Subject:I For One
Welcome our new extra-planetary overlords from 2003UB313. Fitting name to a fitting planet that will preside over our fitting destruction… because come on, like this planet could EVER decide upon something as complex as those three demands in two earth revolutions… oh and are those revolutions around itself or the sun? Either way we will never reach agreement in time.
Comment by phobos13013 — August 2, 2005 @ 4:40 am
Subject:Re: I For One
My read is that “revolution” refers to a spin on the Earth's axis and an “orbit” refers to a trip around the Sun. So yeah, we're pretty much screwed.
Comment by Matthew — August 2, 2005 @ 9:39 am