The life of Brian
Posted by Matthew on Wednesday June 29, 2005 @06:34PM
from the Life-imitates-Monty-Python dept.
Matthew writes: A somewhat bewildered George Lucas has announced that his fans have “officially taken this crap too far” with MP Jamie Reed’s recent inaugural speech to the House of Commons in which he announced that he was the first Jedi member of the body. Beginning in 2001, enough people in the UK have reported their religion as Jedi to make it the 4th largest religion in the country, surpassing Judaism. To date, more than 500,000 people around the world have officially declared their religion to be Jedi despite the fact that Mr. Lucas has not elucidated the core principles of the religion beyond the few mysterious statements to “use the force” and that the force emanates from alien microscopic life forms in the bloodstream.
In a statement on his website, the reclusive director wrote: “I am not your prophet. I haven’t invented a religion—I was just trying to put something a little spiritual into a futuristic space opera. It wasn’t really all that well thought out, as you all found out in Episode I.
“Please, don’t worship me. Don’t worship the Force. Stop trying to figure out the physics behind light sabers, and stop wearing the kooky robes around. They’re props, not fashion statements. I’m not okay with this anymore, and I damn sure don’t aspire to being martyred. And stop making fan films that violate my trademarks you thought thieves!“
Subject:in a prewritten statement he said
You know, before I answer any more questions there's something I wanted to say. Having received all your letters over the years, and I've spoken to many of you, and some of you have traveled… y'know… hundreds of miles to be here, I'd just like to say… GET A LIFE, will you people? I mean, for crying out loud, it's just a TV show! I mean, look at you, look at the way you're dressed! You've turned an enjoyable little job, that I did as a lark for a few the past 30 years, into a COLOSSAL WASTE OF TIME!
Comment by yeah — June 30, 2005 @ 11:40 am
Subject:Re: in a prewritten statement he said
oops, this was supposed to be linked: http://snltranscripts.jt.org/86/86hgetalife.phtml
Comment by he — June 30, 2005 @ 11:41 am
Subject:Don't laugh! It may one day happen!
If you are a christian you might want to stop reading now!
Just think about it for a minute. A long time ago (in a galaxy close, close by) - about 3000 Years ago - a very skillful author once wrote a series of fanciful short stories; one about a girl who got mixed up in all sorts of troubles and ends up giving birth, even though she was a “virgin” (I reckon she was just too stoned to remember!), a man walking on water (the moon wasn't thought of as a celestial body back then! so water seemed unrealistic enough!) who was able to turn water into wine! (nice party trick!). Anyways because of a lack of publishing companies he grew frustrated, bound all of his stories up and threw them away! Years passed (about 500 of them) and while a developer was digging away (probably to make a chariot park or a Mecca's or Burger Emperor's) he found these short stories and published them as a single novel. Over time people started believing it and around 2000 years ago it started to be thought of as a religion. A few hundred years later it was recognised as a religion and people started killing other people on a foolhearty belief that some cup “or grail” (I think it had a short part in issue 36 or chapter 84) could help with the health problems of the day! (No, Penecillin wasn't around back then!) Anyways to get to the point! Dig a hole place your collection of Star Wars books and comics in it and cover it up! you never know in 1000 - 2000 years from now they may be the basis for the next “Bible”!.
Comment by You — July 1, 2005 @ 7:32 pm
Subject:Re: Don't laugh! It may one day happen!
For those of you who could not tell, the above comment is SATIRE. Here are the clues:
1) “If you are a christian you might want to stop reading now!”
First, if he were really wanting to dispell Christianity, he would WANT Christians to read. So, either he is a moron (which I doubt) or he is alerting us to the spoof
2) “About 3000 years ago… one about a girl who got mixed up in all sorts of troubles and ends up giving birth, even though she was a “virgin”"
Even the biggest fool knows it was 2000 years ago… our Calendar is based on His birth. Funny stuff
3) Years passed (about 500 of them) and while a developer was digging away (probably to make a chariot park or a Mecca's or Burger Emperor's) he found these short stories and published them as a single novel.
In reality, we know there is a great wealth of evidence as to when things were written, and in many cases WHO wrote the various books. So, unless this guy is terribly misinformed (which I doubt), this is more evidence that this is satire.
The chariot park stuff is hilarious
So, for all of you who think this guy is really attacking Christianity, please lighten up. He meant it as a joke, nothing more.
Comment by Me — July 9, 2005 @ 1:29 pm
Subject:Re: Don't laugh! It may one day happen!
I'm pretty sure he's just an idiot.
Comment by Matthew — July 10, 2005 @ 11:40 pm
Subject:Re: Don't laugh! It may one day happen!
I am not quite sure you read it properly - fair enough it is quite stupid, and I am not sure if I understand it the way he wants it read - but with your point 2, I think he was getting at the fact that “about 3000 Years ago - a very skillful author once wrote a series of fanciful short stories” this is when the books were written, Then he “bound all of his stories up and threw them away”. The books were later “found and published as a novel” and “Over time people started believing it and around 2000 years ago it started to be thought of as a religion” i.e. as I understand from what is written, to our modern minds over the last 2000 years we have developed the 'perception' that the stories written over 3000 years ago actually occured 2000 years ago.
Dunno, could be wrong, it's just how I read it!
P.S. I thought this site was 'Satirical' do we now crucify people for posting satirical information on this site???
Might go back to /. now!
Comment by I — July 21, 2005 @ 12:12 am