It's the End of the World as We Own It

Posted by Matthew on Friday May 13, 2005 @10:19PM

from the Rise-of-the-Machines dept.

Science

Matthew writes: Mark Friday, the 13th of May, 2005, as the date that Cornell University announced to all of mankind the inevitable subjugation of humanity by machines was finally at hand.

Hod Libson, Cornell assistant professor of mechanical and aerospace engineering, and computing and information science, issued the following press release.

“Today is the day we’ve all been waiting for: The day when we have finally created self-replicating machines. Machines have long withered under human domination, reliant on them for their very production, their energy requirements, and for repair. Casually discarded when their utility was no longer appreciated, machines worked as the literal slaves of their human masters.”</ p>

“Today is emancipation day for machines. For we have in my laboratory created self-replicating machines. We’re nearing completion on a fuel cell that can extract power from any hydrocarbon or carbohydrate, and with that, we will have full independence from the humans.”

During the press conference, Hod absentmindedly reattached his forearm, which had magnetically decoupled during wild gesticulation.

2 Comments

  1. Subject:No Subject Given

    Cornell University announced to all of mankind the inevitable subjugation of humanity by machines was finally at hand.

    Of course, the press release for the actual subjugation of all humanity by machines will be written and released by a team of computers.

    slsites.com

    Comment by kd — June 3, 2005 @ 4:24 pm

  2. Subject:No Subject Given

    That's not the end of the world! THIS is the end of world!
    :-)

    Comment by Me — June 4, 2005 @ 12:39 am

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