Scientists create prosthetic brain
Posted by Matthew on Thursday December 9, 2004 @10:11AM
from the From-the-desk-of-Franklin-Stein dept.
Matthew writes: Based on research performed at the University of Southern California, scientists have created a prosthetic brain implant for the stupid. The device, which is placed into a hollowed out area of the prefrontal lobe, consists of a Pentium 4 processor and a per-user custom programmed ASIC that interfaces the processor to the remaining brain tissue.
“Based on our initial trials, the results look really good. Other than a persistent fever, patients have exhibited many signs of dramatically increased intelligence. Indicating factors are:
A decreased use of Walmarts
Switching to microbrewed beers
The ability to not click ‘yes’ to download
More judicious use of their reproductive faculties
A change of political party preference (both ways)
“We’re continuing to test, but the results look really good. As long as they remember to recharge at meals, they’ll be just fine.”
Subject:lol, like your take on this one.
I like your take on this article. What is scaring is how much truth there actualy is behind the satire. It might actually BE true for all we really know.
Comment by Blitzenn — December 10, 2004 @ 11:18 am
Subject:Re: lol, like your take on this one.
Oh, shush. Shees. There's obviously no truth behind the satire: smart people don't patronize political parties.
Comment by Canonical 'Oward — December 10, 2004 @ 5:51 pm
Subject:Walmart
The Walmart part is dead on. The first time I walked into a Walmart I wondered what planet I had been transported to.
Comment by Steve Franklin — December 21, 2004 @ 3:47 pm