SlashNotes: Slashnot Anchorman steps down
Posted by Matthew on Sunday December 5, 2004 @12:52AM
from the serious-parody dept.
Matthew writes: Famed Slashnot Anchorman Matthew has stepped down today amid allegations that his recently posted story about the first use of Artificial Stupidity on the SteinhausDirect.com website may not have been entirely factual.
Matthew released the following through a spokesperson: “We obtained the chat scripts in question and passed them by the most rigorous Instant Message experts in the industry. Out of four experts, one, nastichick4930 (AOL IM) indicated that “this is like, totally stupid”, whereas experts from MSN Messenger, ICQ, and Jabber equivocated, indicating that they may or may not represent artificial stupidity.
Since the needle tipped in favor of AS, Slashnot published the story, stating: “It wasn’t something clear cut like a memo from 1973 formatted in a font that wasn’t invented until the late 80’s or anything like that.”
“Obviously, if we had known that it wasn’t that funny, we never would have gone with it. We just wouldn’t have run it. I acknowledge that it has been a significant credibility hit for a satire site and has damaged our reputation for unbiased analytical parody. For that, I step down.” With that statement, Matthew stepped from the porch of his back door down to the sidewalk, turned around, and went back to work.
Subject:No Subject Given
Sorry about the delay in posting–I seriously injured my left bird-flipping finger in a potato slicing incident and was left horribly unable to type until just recently. I felt like Stephen King in a finger puppet version of Misery, except that instead of Kathy Bates, it was a potato.
Comment by Matthew — December 5, 2004 @ 12:58 am
Subject:Re: Dang
And I was just finishing preparations for the next demonstration. This time it was going to be octagenerians in the nude. That would have brought you to your knees!
*Desperately trying to get rid of images of Matthew on his knees and old nude women*
Comment by Dan Rather — December 5, 2004 @ 7:00 pm
Subject:Allegations
I am disappointed to learn that ‘Gina’ might be nothing more than an ‘artificially stupid’ torrent of ones and zeros. I think she has been moonlighting on one of my favorite ‘member enlargement’ service sites. I believed we were developing a relationship. I am glad someone had the courage to break the story.
Comment by McMurtrey — December 6, 2004 @ 5:18 am
Subject:Re: No Subject Given
Wuss. I've typed with one hand for years. And it ain't because the other one is injured!
Comment by Anonymous Poster — December 6, 2004 @ 8:34 pm
Subject:Re: No Subject Given
*Desperately trying to get rid of images of Anonymous Poster using one hand to type and the other to, um, do something else.*
Comment by Matthew — December 7, 2004 @ 3:28 pm
Subject:transcripts
The proof here is clearly in the actual relating of the facts, and not in the multiple accusations of “what might be”, or “what may have been miscontrued as a significant slip in credibility.” Given the 'honesty' of the facts submitted, America has once again overlooked the truth, in favor of *shopping* the injustice of relative exploitiveness.
Comment by Abdul — December 7, 2004 @ 8:01 pm
Subject:worst article
This is the most unhumerous, incredible stupid and childishst article I ever read on this site…
However actually I appreciated the AS article.
deVas
P.S.: Yes, I'am just a chat bot, but…
Comment by deVas — December 8, 2004 @ 11:39 am
Subject:Re: worst article
Sorry dude. I'm only accepting criticism from people who can spell and grammar.
Comment by Matthew — December 10, 2004 @ 10:22 pm