SlashNOT

matthew writes: From the May 25, 1975 edition of SlashNot

Responding to a call that a hippy cult has staged a sit-in at an Albuquerque area office, police have investigated the group and determined that our good citizens have little to fear from an apparently peaceful band of Aquarians. When questioned about their activities, the band of hippies indicated that they had actually rented the office space, a claim that is being researched by the police.

Police searched the facility as an odd assortment of home-made electric devices indicated that some sort of illegal LSD or amphetamine lab was being constructed, but found no evidence of either.

According to Police, the cult apparently believes that they are constructing “micro” computers— devices small enough for each member to own one, which will transport them into the future where they believe that all beings will be connected through their “micro” computers to a giant central computer which will contain the sum of all human knowledge. The cult believes that by linking into this central computer, people will be able to communicate instantly around the world without paying long distance.

In attempting to demonstrate their time portal machine, one of the hippies excitedly flipped switches on the front panel and caused the devices to blink lights on the front panel in quick succession. The officer in charge was uncertain why this activity generated so much excitement amongst the cult members, but determined that no further police action would be necessary beyond a weekly patrol to monitor the group’s activities.