SlashNOT

Matthew writes: SlashNOT would like to begin posting daily updates—you want more humor, we want more revenue. It’s win/win. Unfortunately, Matthew (our primary writer) has only been pumping out two contributions per week despite switching to a high fiber breakfast cereal.

The solution is for you to submit! When you have a funny impulse that is related to technology, pull up SlashNOT immediately and post your impulse using the “add story” link. While we certainly appreciate polished, well written, and funny stories, Your submission does not need to be polished or well written–funny is all we need. Our cadre of amazingly formulaic humor writers will be happy to steal your idea and write their own take on it. Most people (not you, of course–everyone else) are crappy writers anyway, so don’t feel like you have to write a bunch of stuff that we may cut. Posts may be as simple as “I just noticed that Microsoft is being sued over the FAT file system, and that reminded me that McDonalds is being sued over fatty foods.” You’ll get all the credit (but none of the advertising revenue), and we’ll do all the heavy lifting.

Slashnotes are one of only two categories of submissions that aren’t fictitious on Slashnot (the other being articles in the Humor category, which are ludicrous but true stories gleaned from the press). Slashnotes is an irregular feature wherein the maintainers of this site speak directly to the readers. So, whenever you read a slashnote, imagine the voice of [substitute the name of your deity] booming (or being still and small, as dictated by your conscience and your understanding of higher power) in your head. Unless you’re an atheist, is which case you may substitute it with either the voice of Spock, Dr. Carl Sagan, or Dr. Ruth Westheimer, as your intellect dictates.