SlashNOT

Anakin Skywalker, the man known to many as “The Last Known American Software Developer”, is presumed dead after what witnesses say was a brutal and relentless lightsaber battle.

According to police, Skywalker’s body was never found.

“He was the last,” said one former co-worker. “We languished in despair as every last American programming job was outsourced overseas. Anakin hung tough, but his anger got the best of him. And now the career path that was once known as ‘Software Developer’ has ceased to exist, as has the good man that was once Anakin Skywalker.”

Another source close to Skywalker said, “As far as we know, he was the last of his ancient religion. Everyone else we know has either changed careers, retired, or has been hunted down and murdered by the Evil Empire.”

When asked about the circumstances of Skywalker’s death, our source would only say, “It was my young apprentice, Darth Vader. He betrayed and murdered my friend.”

Vader is now believed to be working as a project manager for Man Machine Software in Chennai, India.

Our source, also an former co-worker of Skywalker’s, now brews lattes at a Starbucks in Mos Eisley. “We will miss him,” he said. “He was the best Java developer in the galaxy.”