Starbucks Coffee to release a new operating system.

Posted by Matthew on Wednesday November 19, 2003 @05:16AM

from the it-only-seems-like-noise dept.

Science

Monte writes: SETI@NO_SPAMHome, the Berkeley project that searches for extra terrestrial intelligence by harnessing unused compute cycles on home computers, has announced a joint venture with Starbucks to harness unused brain power.

Howard Shultz, Chairman and Chief Global Strategist for Coffee at Starbucks explains: “We’ve genetically engineered a special strain of Coffee that allows us to tap into the 90% of human potential that is unused. Participants simply drink a Venti cup of our new ‘Andromeda Strain’ in the morning while staring at the specially programmed monitors in the coffee shop. What looks like random noise to everyone else is, in fact, sampled intergalactic noise picked up at the Aracebo Telescope on Puerto Rico.”

“During the day, without concentrating on it, their minds will find patterns in the noise if they exist. Then, they simply stop in again on the way home for another cup, and we analyze their idle chatter with friends to find these patterns.

For example, a person might say ‘Joanie, that dress is the cutest! All your base are belong to us! Where did you get it?’, which would alert our scientists to take a hard look at the sample data that was downloaded into this participant’s brain.

3 Comments

  1. Subject:Starbucks Coffee to release a new operating system

    1) Yeah, and when they have their second cup of mocha java, Starbucks will be able to save energy and heat water from the combined brainwaves…
    2) This story is scary enough to make an avid coffee drinker go back to Jack Daniels for breakfast.

    Comment by EL "L" — November 18, 2003 @ 4:51 pm

  2. Subject:Extra terrestrial intelligence ?

    It's no use looking for extra terrestrial intelligence when there isn't enough terrestrial intelligence to begin with.

    Comment by Sharok — November 19, 2003 @ 5:28 am

  3. Subject:Wrong Spelling

    Maybe it is really noise what you're picking up.
    The Aracebo Telescope it's the name of a little dish, we actually use in Puerto Rico as a trash can. I wounder what kind of signal they are picking?


    The SETI@Home project actually uses the Arecibo Radio Telescope. Maybe Howard Shultz had a caffeine overdose.

    Comment by Telescope Operator — November 25, 2003 @ 9:04 am

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