SlashNOT

Matthew writes: Under pressure from recent media reports, SlashNOT writer Matthew Strebe has revealed that he suffers from Apostrophic Displacement Dysphasia, a neurological disorder that makes it impossible for sufferers to automatically determine correct apostrophe usage in the its/it’s case.

Dr. Yuri Sakhalin explains the disorder. “Like many people with grammar affective disorders (GADs), those with ADD are of course aware of the rules of grammar regarding the correct use of the possessive pronoun ‘its’ and the contraction ‘it’s’. But in individuals with ADD, the mind is confused by the fact that all possessive nouns except pronouns also use an apostrophe ’s’ to indicate possession, so they automatically write both the contraction and the possessive pronoun with the apostrophe. Sufferers are literally unable to see the incorrect apostrophe usage on the page, and must rely on unaffected editors and software aids to remediate their writing.

“What is unusual in the case of Mr. Strebe is the fact that he’s a well published author, and that he uses a word processor capable of automatically marking up the incorrect usage. It seems as if he intentionally uses the incorrect case to exhibit his condition, or as some sort of protest against a rule of grammar that sufferers see as being unfair.”

Mr. Strebe has indicated that he is seeking treatment for the disorder at an inpatient grammar treatment facility. He notes that his condition has been especially difficult for his family members to deal with, and he is grateful for they’re support.