SlashNOT

Matthew writes: Disney Corporation, long known for it’s full-length animated films, has halted all work on it’s traditional, hand drawn features currently under development. Home on the Range will be the last. Disney CEO Michael Eisner Explains:

“We’re sending the Disney film production methodology to the Disney Vault, probably forever. We’ve had a really long string of in-house produced animated films that suck, and we’ve noticed that all of Pixar’s CG films have really kicked ass.”

“Rather than attributing this to really poor script development on our part, especially when compared to their Insanely Great script development and their willingness to throw out years of work if it sucks, we’ve decided that it must be the fact that modern kids have to have photo-realistic shading and rendering.”

“So that’s all folks. We’re planning to bungle our current negotiations with Pixar, try again to develop our own in-house CG shop, and then send them really crappy scripts that won’t sell since we still haven’t figured out that ‘it’s the story, stupid’. We’ll continue down this until we’re nothing but a cable TV channel for toddlers peddling stuffed caricatures of a cartoon so old that no modern human remembers actually ever having seen it on screen as anything but a spokestoon.