SlashNOT

Matthew writes: IT Job Candidate Rupert Helmsley was recently hired by Melville & Underwood under the mistaken presumption that he could help improve their diversity in hiring statistics because he wan an MCSE.

“It was quite embarrassing, really. At the end of the interview, they asked if I had anything else I wanted to tell them about myself. I said ‘oh, yes, I have MCSE.’. I meant to say ‘an MCSE’, but I was nervous in the interview, and it just came out that way.

They got quite animated at that point, and asked if it was difficult. I said, yes, it was difficult, but that the hard work was over now. Then they asked how I thought it would affect my job performance, and I said I thought that it would be an asset. I thought it was weird that they told me I was brave at that point, but I brushed it off.”

“Later that first week, one of the secretaries asked me ‘how long I had left’. I thought she meant with the laptop repair I was doing, so I said “a few hours, maybe tomorrow at the latest.’ Then she burst into tears. At that point I got suspicious, and asked her why she was crying. She threw her arms around me and said that I was a shining example of courage, and that she was glad she got to meet me before I passed on.”

“So now I take Thursdays and Fridays off for treatment, and pass off anything that might be stressful to my co-workers. Getting MCSE was the best career move I could have made.”