SlashNOT

Squid writes: As a disgruntled former SlashNOT editor, I was shocked to read the supposed 2002 predictions recap story. “90% of our predictions came true”. Right. This kind of disregard for proper journalism is exactly why I left SlashNOT and became disgruntled. For everyone’s enjoyment until someone deletes them, here are SlashNOT’s actual predictions from January 2002:

1. Tablet PCs will become incredibly popular and overtake desktops by the end of 2002.
2. Kenneth Lay will become the new CEO of Novell, which will then buy out HP.
3. Intel’s Itanium processor will saturate the server market and make inroads in desktops.
4. Microsoft will release MS-Linux, a version of Linux that runs over a DOS shell.
5. Slashdot will reinvent itself as a parody of Slashnot.com.
6. Amazon.com will tell the press that Segway scooters are one of its top-selling items, despite the fact that they are not yet available for sale.
7. Our 1000 shares of Pets.com will be worth a fortune.
8. The US government will outlaw Linux, saying that only terrorists use software they don’t pay for.
9. The Justice Department will break up Microsoft into two or three smaller companies. One of the new companies will name itself “Bob”.
10. The Y2K bug will show up three years late at the end of 2002, surprising everyone and causing the destruction of 90% of the world’s computer systems.