Bush administration denies Santa U.S. over flight clearance
Posted by Matthew on Monday December 23, 2002 @04:09PM
from the high-insecurity dept.
Matthew writes: White house spokesman Ari Fliescher has indicated that the administration will not approve Santa Claus’s request for unrestricted over flight of the United States on December 25th.
“This is not a happy day for us, or anyone else. Unfortunately, Mr. Claus has not provided the required documentation required by newly enacted security protocols for over flight. Also, he has indicated that he will be visiting countries on the state supported terrorism list. We know that Mr. Claus wouldn’t knowingly attack the United States, but there are numerous problems with his current application.”
“We don’t have clearances and identity information for the Elves, and they’ve refused to be interviewed outside the North Pole. We know that some of the reindeer were born in countries in the former Eastern Bloc. North Korea shares a word with North Pole. The President has decided that it’s just too risky for the American people, and requiring parents to purchase presents might be just the economic stimulus we need.”