SlashNOT

Daniel writes: A Long Beach, California, man was arrested last night in a spectacular commando raid. A police SWAT team stormed the home of Erwin Schrodinger at about 9:30 PM after receiving tips from his neighbors about sinister activities on the property. A local judge issued a warrant when police presented geiger counter measurements taken from the sidewalk showing the presence of radioactive materials somewhere on the premises.

Police have released very little information, but so far it appears the elderly Mr. Schrodinger faces felony charges of cruelty to animals, possession of fissionable materials, and possession of lethal toxins.

Investigators were seen removing evidence from his home following the arrest. A neighbor described one of the items as a “black box with all kinda gadgetry sticking out of it”. Paul Fooster, who lives next door, described Mr. Schrodinger as “eccentric” and “possibly dangerous”. He said the suspect tended to ramble to himself about things collapsing and “super positions” and “eigen” states, which he thought might be a code word for terrorist-friendly countries. Said Mr. Fooster, “I felt chilled to the bone one time when I overheard him babbling on about sticking cats in a box with cyanide. Isn’t that what them Al Qaida folks were doing with dogs? I mean, I’ve got children, you know?” Another neighbor, Arlene Monigan, reported similar behavior and worried that Mr. Schrodinger might have ties to terrorists. When she saw an eerie blue glow emanating from within the house, she finally notified authorities.

Mr. Schrodinger is being held without bail pending charges. A distraught Mrs. Schrodinger, who says Mr. Schrodinger is harmless, states she has petitioned several times to see or at least talk with her husband, to no avail. “As it stands,” she said, “I don’t know whether he’s dead or alive!”