SlashNOT

Squid writes: As reported in MSNBC, CNN, CBS News, and The Billings Gazette, scientists in London believe they have found the world’s funniest joke. (Click More for the actual joke.)

Using one of the most accurate scientific processes known to man – an online poll – they also discovered some surprising facts about humor: Jokes mentioning Ducks are considered funnier than those mentioning other animals; 103 words is the perfect length for a joke; and the funniest time for a joke is 6:03pm on October 7th.

Dr. Richard Wiseman, who runs the Laugh Lab site that conducted the research, is launching a book today, which has absolutely no connection with all of the free publicity he’s received. “To celebrate the occasion, a man in a six foot chicken costume will drive a huge banner inscribed with the winning joke around the streets of London,” according to UK news sources.

[Note: Stories in the True Stories section are not satire. They highlight recent stories in actual news media that are just too silly to satirize.] the joke:

“A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

“The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: ‘My friend is dead! What can I do?’

“The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: ‘Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.’ “There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: ‘OK, now what?’”